Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Campus cohabitation:A moral deterioration in Nigeria Universities by Laaro Zainab

 Cohabitation is simply an act of a man and woman living together and having sexual relationships without being married. This growing trend is gradually eroding the 'near absent level of morality among youths. I would prefer to describe t as a deadly trend in Nigeria tertiary institutions. The off campus phenomenon is mostly preferred by students in Universities considering some genuine reasons like the poor sanitary conditions and the over crowding. However, most students have their unrealistic reasons.
  Although freedom is a must have for undergraduate students, it is saddening that this has created an avenue for extreme cultural imperialism in the students thereby displacing the ever cherished African tradition that disallows female children to have intimate relationship with males that they are not married to. This situation has led to an increasing rate of devaluation of the proper concept of morality among youths. This freedom is today highly exhibited by youths who rather feel at liberty to visit and sleep in their partner's room without the common fear of being seen by their parents. This unsafe act has however been taken to another level of freedom extremist as many of the campus students today prefer to live with their partners while in school.
  The reason why students cohabit are not far fetched. Some students who agree to have their minds on the issue said it is by living together that the so called couples get to know if they are compatible or not. This they say is the reason why they take the period of living together as the period of testing their compatibility. While some cohabiting students find it difficult to live apart from their partners because of the strong physical intimacy between them and the addictive prowess of sex over them make them confuse love for sex. They begin to use sex as a way of convincing themselves that the relationship is moving fine. Instead of the sexual act being a life-given act of mutual love, it is becoming a life-drawing and self-abuse of the other partner. Many a times, the need for companionship and fear of loneliness becomes so strong among students that they begin to think they cannot wait for marriage before living together. This eventually leads to insecurity especially on the part of the ladies.    Say NO to cohabitation because you will spare yourself the pain and grief of finding out that you were being used rather than loved. It is hundred percent possible for one to have sex with you and not love you.
  Why are we going against God? Why are we doing this to ourselves? Do you ever think of how your parents will feel when they hear the child they are labouring so much for and having high hopes in is living with an opposite sex or they get to know such child is pregnant or has undergone an abortion? How will you feel when the guy you call your boyfriend use you for reference?
  It is becoming quiet worrisome that students who live as husband and wife get unwanted pregnancies and other related implications especially with the acceptance of artificial contraceptives. The trend is more encouraged and the possibilities of getting pregnant is no longer deterent. Even when pregnancies occur, they get rid of it by all means. Recently a 'couple' living together in one of the campus lodges in federal polythecnic, Bida, had a baby and lost the baby due to their inability to cater for the baby financially. Although it is very possible that campus relationship leads to marriage, think about how many of such relationships end in marriage. Instead, its a story of one heartbreak or the other. The crux of the matter is that most campus cohabitation end on campus.
  Cohabitation is now becoming one of Nigerian's favourite subject. One hears jokes about it from students and we see it in movies. Cohabitation and sex has been identified as the only means used to improve their love towards each other. On the other hand, someone who is guarding her chastity and insist on having sex only with the person she is legally married to is seen as a religious fanatic.
  Cohabitation has so many disadvantages on us ladies. It is better for us to have the best qualities of a beatiful woman in order to have men come after us and not for us to go after them. A beautiful woman is a woman with respect, love, kindness, a woman with ego, who knows when to drop it and when to keep it high. A woman with charisma, who can sustain her personality, who knows how to acquire what she desires without throwing virtue, grace and personality at the feet of unworthy adversaries. A woman who is filled with excellence and it radiates like a million stars from her eyes, women whose intelligence baffles and attracts many, who positively affect people morally, socially, academically, as well as psychologically cannot cohabit with a student like her in the name of love. I have seen relationships without cohabitation and sex and its moving with respect and love.
We need to put our heads and hearts together to think and make the right decisions that will make our lives better. Just because everyone is doing it doesn't mean it is right. The anthem of hell is everyone is doing it. My dear! Watch it, everyone is not heading to hell.
Laaro Zainab.

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